All my rational discourse consists of myself trying to talk myself out of going crazy.
It is also trying to talk myself out of wanting to be an artist or a ‘personality.’
It is also trying to talk myself out of being a person who speaks and to become instead an agent that makes things happen.
Art — the character going by that name — can only do this on purpose if it lies.
Art and criticism are psychoanalysis in public. They are all in decline because we have collectively learned not to trust humans anymore.
The ‘conversation’ principally consists of unattractive lies, endlessly repeated.
Sometimes I think that what my rational discourse really wants is to keep me talking.
As it gets increasingly necessary to speak about misery and death on a mass scale, it also gets increasingly difficult to keep a straight face while doing so.
‘The personal is the political’ and ‘the medium is the message’ are rationalizations of the above that allow us to speak about misery and death on a mass scale without being accused of entertaining anyone.
They allow artsts to mythologize their private neuroses and be considered ‘political’ at the same time by very tiny group of people.
Victims can do the same thing, and be considered ‘political’ by a larger group of people, making them in some cases actually political, but only by accident or deception.
Crazy people can’t be taken seriously at all unless they are able to pass themselves off as a victim or an artist.
This is neither coincidental nor natural.
But you cannot make this situation different by changing your mind, or anyone’s mind, about how it works. This is how it works.
Artists, crazy people, and victims can only speak. Therefore anything they do as an artist, a crazy person, or a victim will be a conspiracy and an accident, the effects of which can never be conclusively traced back to them. If you desire to be an agent that makes things happen, the three forbidden identities are artist, crazy person, and victim.
Unless you are ok with lying.
This, however, is not so effective in the long term.
All of these things may seem terrible.
But do not worry.
I am here to entertain you.